Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
