Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
