u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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