I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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