Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
