just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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