it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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