MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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