In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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