I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
