never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
