Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
