I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
