I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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