I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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