i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
