i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
