i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
