i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
