There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
