Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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