No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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