i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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