Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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