and you said cock pushups were impossible
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
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