Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
When are your genitals available?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
