I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
