god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
