My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
