Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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