Can Purell be used as lube?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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