Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
