pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
