She's JV to your varsity
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
