Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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