I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
