It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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