Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
