It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
