Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You were trust falling into bushes
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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