Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
