just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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