There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
