I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
