nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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