Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Panties = found
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
