Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
