"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
