she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
