addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
