hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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