It's Friday. Sex?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
