My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I need to calm my uterus...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
