I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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