We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
should my penis look like a turkey
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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