I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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